Si is becoming so strong now that it’s all i think about…i think about different ways to do it and the excuses ill have to make to cover it up. For some reason i just get this feeling that life is pointless and ill never get a true sense of happiness ever again…i watch people laugh and remember a time when i didnt have to force myself to laugh or smile just to put everyone at ease. I pretend everything is ok all the time because i want people to think im happy and ok but really nothing is ok. I SId this morning because i was scared and stressed and i hate that i have to lie about it all the time…i realize that im at that point now where i probablly should get help but i cant i cant let everyone find out again that im still doing it…will someone give me some adivce, any would be good because im soooo scared….
Life is complicated. Life is scary. Life can be very very hard. But Life without SI is possible, it’s near, and it will happen for you. Everytime you get stressed or scared, take a really deep breath. Think about clear skies, ocean waves, anything to calm yourself. Don’t SI. Count to 10. You will be okay. Talk to someone. Email me anytime, americangurl7@yahoo.com