I stoped SI for a little while but now I feel really close to starting again. There is just so much to deal with. I have to keep my grades up so I can get into college with brings me drownding into a pool of stress. I also have to keep up this facade of happiness because if my parents knew the pain im feeling I dont think that they could accepet it. I feel as if there is a constant struggle in my mind between the dark side of me that tells me how much better i could feel if i SI and the other part of me who knows how wrong feeling like the pain will make everything better is. Im staring down into the abyss trying not to go in.
I know what you’re talking about with the struggle in your mind. I guess i just wanted to tell you that i’m right there with ya and i understand what that struggle is like.
Since i stopped s.i., i’ve just been trying to tell myself that i’m a perfectly decent human being not worth any less than anyone else. Basically trying to figure out how to show myself the same kind of respect i’d show anyone else. Don’t know if that pertains to your situation but i guess it can’t hurt to share…
I wish you the best. Sounds like a very stressful situation, but i bet you’re strong enough to make it through.