I SI for control. I SI to control my pain, to control my suffering, to control who can hurt me and who can’t. But now it controls me.
I’m a slave to the one thing that I used to be the master of.
If anyone understood how indescribably screwed up that is, they would want to fix me.
Want to know how to fix me?
Love me.
i understand, how things can just take over, u just gotta put ur foot down
Hey skyspunbrokenone,
I know how it feels to feel enslaved to what was once an escape. This is going to sound really strange but I hope that the gain will be more than the cost… About four years ago I hit rock bottom when I felt that my once “escape” was now my master. I got support from others and finally kicked it. Any thing like anger can grow into a fire though.
One of my friends died recently, and I feel like I lost my bestest friend my grades are caput, and I feel totally empty and in so much pain. Deep insied though, all I want is for my best friend to say that she cares… If it means anything, know that we care 🙂
I understand completely, you want so badly to be loved but you are tired of waitng for love to find you.