im not sure what to say.  i feel like “im sorry” had stopped being enough long ago but its all i can ever think of.  the people i need to apologize too arent around me at the moment, yet still, as i sit in my room or on the floor of the bathroom its all i can ever think to say.  over and over.

i’m sorry.

its been a few days since i had last SIed.  But a few moments ago i did it again.  im not sure why.  im afraid that on top of this i may have developed an E.D. i dont know why it happens.  most times i wish i would stop.  i dont care too much what its doing to me but i know it hurts those those i care about; at least, it will if they ever found out.  i doubt anyone will ever know the full extent of it, and i guess thats a good thing.  my other major issue with it is i know it is influencing my relationship with God.  i try so hard to do the “right thing” but im not exactly sure where to go with that you know?…….i dont know..

anyhow.  id like to talk to you.  thanks for reading