When was the last time I have opened this forum?
I really don’t know… Right now I don’t know about many things. What shall I say? School has started in September and I am already tired cuz I am the leader of group in two different subjects, I am full of school works, I am full of house chores and my body is getting weaker and weaker… I woke up now and I didn’t know where I was until seeing my favourite teddy bear…I know it’s stupid but it’s the only thing that makes me feel that this is my bedroom.
At the other day my dad didn’t take me to the hospital cuz he was too busy with one of his girlfriends. At that same day I had a rage attack and I just wanted to fight. I wanted to…Don’t know how to explain. I didn’t know who was I. I just knew I wanted to fight with everything in front of me.
Lucky I am a “5’1 tall midget with 103 lbs and have a weak body with bones that even a 7year old child can knock out. After that incident I got into a deep depression like I haven’t felt since I moved house… When my mom said I was the responsible for taking the decision about her divorce my boyfriend got worried and made me go see a doctor… it seems I suffer from bipolar disorder II.
yet…what that tells me? My mom still wants me to decide everything for her… I still have too much work that I can’t handle and I am totally and completely tired. If I talk to my parents they just make me feel guilty.
I need to do ALL the house chores… be responsible for my younger sisters if they make something at school and I need to keep my marks at school. Also I need to work at part-time. The result = I don’t have time to sleep, to eat and to rest
My bf is there, and also my friends but I’m so tired that sometimes happens I can’t remember who I am, I can’t remember who they are…