i was injuring for almost a year before i stopped about 4 months ago. i did it because i had alot of family problems and i had severe depression. I also have ADD, which i just found out recently.

when i did it, i felt that the physical pain would erase the pain in my heart. it did for a while, but i realized that instead, i just became cold and distant to everyone else. i was destroying myself.

then i talked to my teacher, and now im going to a phychologist. things r getting better 🙂

but now i think about it, it wasnt the pain that gave me the andrenaline rush when i was injuring. it was the sight of my “bodily fluids”. its kind of creepy. i never inured severely, only enough….

even now, the sight of it makes me feel…. i dont know how to describe it. fascinated? i dont know. i never really thought about it before, and now that i do, it disturbs me a little. i did it not for pain, but so i could see that.  its kind of disturbing.i told my dad, but he didnt know what to make of it. im thinking of telling my psychologist, but i dont know what she will make of it. im a little scared