Sometimes I feel like I’m completely through with injuring myself, but at other times I feel like the urge is going to take over eventually so the sooner I give in the less of a disappointment it will be to myself. I haven’t SI’ed in like two weeks, but the last time I did it was crazy to me. I felt the lowest of low that I ever have. Tonight I almost did again, but I decided to confide in my friend that I didn’t tell when it all began. I told her because only 3 other people know- my boyfriend, my cousin, and another one of my friends. My boyfriend tries so hard to help me, but he just can’t do it. He always takes things too personally and thinks it’s all his fault. When he asks if it is, it makes me want to cut worse because I feel like I’m hurting him and like I need to be punished. I feel like I can’t win. I’ve considered telling my mother but I am afraid she won’t believe me or that she’ll break off all my ties from the world as I know it…