ok so i don’t normally put my biz out there but this is the only place i’ve found i can…i am just fed up and want to SI more and more lately. the years flew by and i’m in my early 30’s and i’m still the same. to me i’m a loser. i jacked up my credit,finances,life in my 20’s, and basically wasted over 10 yrs doing so and SI’ing all the while. I quit drugs cold turkey a few years ago thinking it would help “life”… i had no ephiphany as to how to be happy…so i figured hey go back to college. cool i did, worked hard and got a 3.75 gpa but its like i’m not supposed to be happy cuz tadah the school jacked up the program and i didn’t even get a degree. now i owe 50k in loans…more $  than i’ll make in like years. i can’t even buy my parents dinner or send them on vacay like other people my age. i just went to their house for my bday and i feel like i’m a kid. they are worried about my future, my happiness my everything but don’t know how to change it and really can’t since i’m a grown woman. i don’t know what i’m doing. nothing is getting better just worse. i’m more broke now than ever and thats just by paying bills. Before I felt young, spontaneous.  its just SOO confusing. i want to SI so bad right now i can’t taste.   i just have to figure out how not to hate myself and feel like a failure…esp since my parents deserve more than that as a daughter. i’m super sorry to boo hoo i just didn’t have any place else to vent it. thanx for letting me