I told my brother that I would live my life better..be a little happier, and be the most optimistic person but he doesn’t know. I have been doing SI for years. The marks-everyone can see but they never seem to put it altogether. Sometimes I think its better they dont know or get it cause then it would be up. They always asked “what happen”, and being the perky person I can be, I put on a smile and say “I am such a klutz-I ‘accidentally’ hurt myself” and they buy it. I sit here and I am scared that this is the most I can get in life. Its like it will never be over.