“when life gives you lemons, make lemon aid,”  i always hated that saying.  so many people say it “to help you.”  in school there are two lies they always tell you,”we’re here for you,” and,”the counselor will always listen.”  why do we say these lies?  to make us feel better?

my school is the main reason why i started self injury.  parents next in line.  then just my depression.  how is it going to look when i’m a nurse with injury marks?  that’d be a sit. 

how can i get help?  my parents aren’t an option.  Counselor?-not ever going to happen.  youth group leaders?-i don’t trust the new ones at my church with this problem. 

i fell off the wagon a while back-almost 2 weeks- i told a friend.  she said to ask God for help.  so i prayed He’ll help me.  get the thoughts out of my head.  it worked.  i haven’t thought of suicide in about in about a week.  i feel great!  my demons haven’t attacked but i know they will.  i have no doubt.  will i be strong enough to handle them?

i’m sorry this is depressing but its good to get it out