I have been SI’ing for over five years and I am finally ready to be free. I had no idea that there were places that help was available, where other people have to same problems. I still can’t believe that I ever started, but now it is a way of my life, but I’m trying to make it my past. I have been 46 days SI free, and that is close to the longest that I have gone in my 5 years. My best friend does it too. There is really no one telling us not to because the most import influences in our lives are each other and neither of us have the grounds to say anything. I’m really scared that I’m not going to be able to go without for much longer. I think about it everyday, somewhere far in the back of my mind. I want to be free though, I NEED to be free. The scars are so apparent and the lies are so nuts but everyone somehow believes them. I’m not sure if they just don’t want to deal with it, or they really are oblivious. I know I need help to keep going and I am more than willing to admit it. I don’t want to hide behind lies and clothes anymore.
i know what you are saying. i made so many lies people started NOT to believe them. every one of my friends know i am a SI. i cant so the “cat did it” with my mother though… she beleieved it because this was the first one she’s seen. sometimes you want to cover up, then you want to whole world to know so that you won’t have to lie. my friends use my story to help others. to show them their not alone.
later trust me you’ll be able to tell your kids(when your older) and you friends the truth and when you do… you’ll be free
Wow that is amazing going that long i am trying to quit to and the lies i have told are insane i have no idea how poeple believe them and if you ever just want to talk or rant even i am here if you want to email me at jjmsgirl@gmail.com i am happy to chat.. i have been getting help from people that leave their email addresses here and i want to try and help others too because we all need someone who has been through this to talk to but it takes time to stop and that voice in you head just wont stop tormenting you, it’s hard but not impossible even though it seems that way…
I’m 57 days recovered, and I understand how hard it is. Having a best friend who does it is like a bottomless pit, and you either need to find means of help for the both of you or somehow detach from that friendship maybe, because it’s a viscious cycle that you don’t want to continue. I’m so glad you’re reaching out and finally ready to let go of the addiction you’re faced with, that’s a great accomplishment and realization and I’m proud of you. But you should know that you CAN in fact stop, that there is hope, always, and that we’re all in support of you and here for you when you need it. Congrat’s on 46 days, that’s huge.
<3 rescue
Congrats on 46 days. Keep going. It’s a daily battle but I have faith in you.