I have been SI’ing for over five years and I am finally ready to be free. I had no idea that there were places that help was available, where other people have to same problems. I still can’t believe that I ever started, but now it is a way of my life, but I’m trying to make it my past. I have been 46 days SI free, and that is close to the longest that I have gone in my 5 years. My best friend does it too. There is really no one telling us not to because the most import influences in our lives are each other and neither of us have the grounds to say anything. I’m really scared that I’m not going to be able to go without for much longer. I think about it everyday, somewhere far in the back of my mind. I want to be free though, I NEED to be free. The scars are so apparent and the lies are so nuts but everyone somehow believes them. I’m not sure if they just don’t want to deal with it, or they really are oblivious. I know I need help to keep going and I am more than willing to admit it. I don’t want to hide behind lies and clothes anymore.