I feel guilty. A couple weeks ago when a friend of mine was making jokes about masochist, I blew up and told him that self harming isn’t something to joke about. I explained it to him the best that I could and I really got across to him. He apologized and stopped joking. So everything’s fine, right? Wrong! Today at school, I saw that he was trying to keep everything away from one place on his body. I asked him if everything was okay, and he ended up showing me that he’d injured. I wanted to cry. I know that it’s my fault that he did it. And I feel horrible that he did something that horrible to himself. But of course, I couldn’t tell him that he’s wrong for doing it, I couldn’t tell him that it’s a stupid mistake. Because then that makes me a hypocrite, which I hate. But I know that it’s wrong to do, yet I can’t make myself stop, no matter how hard I try. I know that all I can do is be there for him, I know that I can try to help him stop. I know that I will always feel the guilt for pulling an innocent boy into the dark shadows and teaching him something so horrible. Its going to mess up his life and it will always be my fault. The worst part of all is the part of me that is okay with it. The part of me that is so happy to have someone who understands what I’m going through, someone who knows why I do what I do. I hate myself for that; I hate it that I could be okay with hurting him that way. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live with this.