I haven’t sied for some time now. (close to a year) but now i am feeling a stronger need to do it again than i ever have before. I have tried to tell my supports this but they aren’t so supporting. theyre just like well don’t do it and then i try to think of why i want to do it and i don’t know. they think it is school stress but then i look and i just don’t care about school right now. I don’t know what is going on. I feel like i am back where i started and that therapy has taken me nowhere. I feel like my thoughts keep going to the same door but i don’t know how to open it so they walk around again till they come back. pls, does anybody understand me a care enough to truely listen or am i really alone now. i am so tired of everything right now. i just don’t know how long i can keep the monster at bay. pls, someone come rescue me.
This sounds all too familiar, I am sort of going through the same thing myself. If I may ask, your supports…have they had a history of S.I-ing as well? I have found that those of the supports who haven’t, do not understand as much as those who have. It is hard at times to figure out exactly WHY a person S.I-s…I have found it is more just little everyday things that you may not even realize affects you for the moment. Have you tried writing your thoughts and feelings down when you feel like S.I-ing and then taking the time to read over them and find parts that might help with the triggering of wanting to S.I ? I know this post is not exactly helpful, but you are not alone in this and you do not ever have to be. I would also like to congratulate you on not S.I-ing for almost a year. That is amazing! You seem like you are a very strong person and I believe that you can get through this just fine.
If you would ever like to talk, you can email me at :
xox-caitie-16-xox@hotmail.com
~Caitielynn
aelitamoon
I fee that way to but I’ve SI’ed lately so I can’t say I stopped in a while. My email is emo_chick44608@yahoo.com, feel free to email me ANYTIME you need to talk. 😀
Caitlin