Hi, I’m kind of new to this whole thing (blogs and such).   I have never been the best at explaining how I am feeling but I’m going to make an attempt here.  I used to S.I , I have been ‘clean’ from S.I since March(2009).  I had told my friends that I would stop and stop for good but lately, I have been wanting to S.I so badly. I just don’t know what to do.  I know it isn’t too great to S.I but it seems like the only option for me.  I need help.  I have tried keeping myself busy and distracting myself with other things like cleaning and drawing and that but it doesn’t help at all.  I have also been having thoughts about the my friends who have wantd me to stop.  They supported me in the beginning but now that it has been a while they have seemed to forgotten about it.  Those that are close to me, it feels like I am so disconnected from them.  It feels like they don’t care, which makes me feel even worse.  And every morning, when I wake up I just feel so disconnected from the world in general and I don’t feel like I am living, it feels as if I’m just empty, invisible…like I’m on the outside and looking in. I see all these people that I know and they are having fun and living life and then there is me, I feel so out of  place and it makes me want to hurt myself because I’m not like them.  I seriously don’t know what to do, I don’t want to S.I anymore but it seems like the only option…please help?