Ever since I started SIing (though I’ve been clean for over 4 months now), I’ve been ashamed and scared to let people see my scars.
One day, I was standing next to my boyfriend, talking, and he reached out to hold my hand. I reflexively pulled away.
He stared at me, until he figured it out. Then he kissed me, and told me that he loved me, I was beautiful, and that I shouldn’t fear myself anymore.
I asked him what he meant, and he told me that he thought I was really afraid of people seeing that I *had* been troubled, but that I was stronger now. He explained that, in his mind, the scars were part of who I was, and who I had grown to become. There was no reason for me to be scared, because they showed I was now stronger, and that I had survived my depression.
Now, whilst I won’t whip my scars out for any old person, I’m not quite so scared of people seeing.