I finally told my mom about my SI. I’ve been doing it off and on for about 3 years. My mom is avoiding me. I mean she talks to me, but something seems off. I’m just trying to give her some space and time right now. I called my friend/teacher last night and told her what happend. She’s calling the school’s social worker for me and I’ll meet with her when school starts back Tuesday. What happens when I go in to talk to the social worker? And I keep having these panic attacks. ugh 🙁 my mom told me that we’ll talk about it, but we haven’t yet. And i don’t feel like bringing it up again. Does it always feel this hard/weird when you tell someone about your SI? I felt more comfortable telling my teacher than I did my mom.
i dont know about always, but thats definitely how it is for me. i told my dad about it today and he took it alright but its probably a lot more for them to take in then we may realize since we are too close to the subject
hope this helps!
sorry, half of my last message was missing for some reason, bur here is the gist of what it was supposed to say:
(i got this advice from another source)
once you have told someone about your SI:
Be willing to give the other person some time to digest, though — if you follow up with them and they say “I’d like to think about this for a while,” give them space. Ask them to let you know when they’re ready to talk, and let it go.
Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings
It can be nearly as hard for them to hear it as it is for you to tell them. Realize that they’re probably wondering what they did wrong or how they could have prevented you from feeling so much pain or why you turned out “sick.” You don’t have to accept their value judgments about your SI, but be open to hearing what they have to say about it. You might learn something, and you can teach them a great deal.
Explain that coming out is an act of love
Let them know that your deciding to tell them about self-injury is a sign of your love for and trust in them. Usually, a person decides to tell someone about his/her SI because s/he loves them, wants or needs their loving support, and is tired of keeping a whole part of her/himself from them. The desire to be open and to trust outweighs the fear of rejection or hatred or disgust. Let the person you’re telling about your self-harm know you’re not trying to punish. manipulate, or guilt-trip them.
Provide as much information as you can
This is crucial.The more someone knows about something, the less they fear it. Many people have never heard of self-injury or have heard weird sensationalized tabloid reports. Be prepared to give the person books or names of books, articles, photocopies, printouts, addresses of web sites, etc. Gather as much information as you can so you can answer their questions accurately and honestly.
Be willing (and prepared) to answer their questions
You may have to educate them about SI. Encourage them to ask whatever questions they may have. If they ask a question you don’t have an answer to,say “I don’t know” or “I can’t say” or even “I prefer not to get into that right now.” Be as open as you can. You might want to anticipate questions they’ll ask and get an idea of how you want to answer those before you come out. You can ask other people who’ve come out what they were asked to get some ideas.
You should also have a good idea in your mind of what you want to do about the self-injury — they’re going to ask. Do you want treatment? What sort? If not, what’s the rationale for not treating it? Do you want them to help you stop or control it? How can they help? What’s too intrusive and what isn’t? Now is a good time to start setting boundaries.
Communicate
Be willing to talk to the people you’re coming out to about your reactions, and ask them to let you know what they’re thinking. Communication goes both ways.
if you want me to expand on any of these or just want to talk about it, feel free to email me at matchinglaces@gmail.com =)
Its like that with some people,and other people go off the walls with every angry,sad,disappointed,ect emotion there is. Thats how a bunch of people reacted when they found out or i told them. My mom don’t know so i can’t relate to telling my mom,but i have had very,very close friends have that reaction and sometimes u got to let it sink in before u talk about it again,and other times u have to make them stop avoiding it,or u have to be the one to bring up the painful subject. I hope it all works out in the end for u. if u want to talk u can e-mail me at godsaunt@yahoo.com
wow that’s sounds just like me about a year ago—telling my mom was the hardest thing ever–and after I told her it did feel like she was avoiding me and over than that time that I told her we never talked about it again which didn’t help because talking is what I needed to do—–I had a school worker make an appointment for me to talk to a social worker to-and mainly we just talked–she asked me a few question like why I injure, how often, where, when I started and how I felt before, during, and after I injure, also he/she might ask if your parents know about it; he/she will probably recommend theraphy/counseling and will help you find someone if that is what you decide to do—I remember the first time talking to my social worker and it was really hard because at that time no one knew that I use to injure so bringing it up for the first time andd hearing myself admitting it was really hard but the more you do talk about it the easier it becomes to talk about it