See, I have a prettyy good life. A sibling, nice parents good friends, but I feel the urge to SI. And I have given into the urge twice. I SI every once in a while. Because I feel like I’m not worth anything. I fall in love to easy and I always get hurt. I also trust people too easy and I get yelled at by them and then I lose them. I have only told 1 of my friends (not even my best friend!) because I knew that she used to but doesnt anymore. She thinks I stopped though. I feel if I tell my other friends that they’ll leave me and wont wanna be friends anymore if I tell.
Also, I feel like I can’t tell my mom because she had asked me a couple months ago what “emo” was and I told her they were people who SI and she said “Oh, well that’s stupid.” and I feel like shes judging the book by the cover and I feel like I can’t tell. I feel so lost and depressed all the time and i want her to just get the idea thyat im depressed! She’s clueless though and I relly feel the need to go to therapy and yet I feel like I could never tell her because I dont have that much of a reason besides fear and I think it would break her heart.
What do I do?
Hey,
I totally relate to your story. I also have a fairly decent life, so I think it shocked people when I told them. I have told only my closest friends, my cousin, and my parents found out. My friends are being awesome, I was also worried as to how they’d react, but I haven’t S.I.ed in over a month now, and I know for a fact that if it weren’t for them, I would never be where I am now. So I think you should tell them. Also, it’s great that you want to go to therapy. My counselor is great, she is really good at listening to all my problems. And as much as it would break her heart, it would also make her trust you. I lied to my parents about it, and I know that I’ve lost some of their trust.
I hope that this helped,
Staystrong
I also feel this way right now. I started SI about a year ago and i ended up telling my close friends and family. I asked if i could go to counceling and my parents grudginly allowed it but complained daily about how much it cost them because they assumed i had tried and stopped and was therefore fine. I stopped for a while but a couple weeks ago i got back into it and i can tell that its worse and more serious this time. I want to tell someone, but like you said, i dont really have any actual reason to have this issue cause from an objective standpoint my life looks great.
another problem with this is that i am half a country away from home serving at a christian missions organization for a year. I talk to my family and friends on the phone and they all tell me i sound like im so happy and doing so great. I’m afraid to tell them the truth because i know it will severly dissapoint them and quite possibly destroy any hope i have in the future (which is very little at this point anyhow).
I guess we should probably come clean, but its much easier said than done
I’m praying for you