hello all,
tonight I started injuring again after almost 3 years of being clean. I just couldn’t control myself. I started thinking of all that’s happened in the past few months like my mother attempting suicide the night of my HS graduation, to one of my friends dying, now I’m starting college. It all just piled up and I couldn’t seem to control any of it, or make any sense of it. I have a problem with not expressing my feelings, and I’m scared that if I continue to bottle things up, I’ll resort to worse things than injuring. I don’t wanna feel like this anymore, I don’t want to have to go through the pain of therapy again. I just desperately need someone to talk to…I’m at my breaking point.
Similar things happened to me, and i think that its good that youre letting all of this out, im like a stranger really but i want to help, because i know that i need help too. My grandmother passed away on december 27th of last year and after that it was always just me, spending time alone, my friends and family were so worried about me but i felt so alone from that point on, i injure myself so so many times but it wouldnt help, after that i got frustrated and started injuring in other ways, im only 15. i stopped in april when i found someone who helped me relieve all my pain, but it had been 4 months of complete darkness in my life. everything got better as the schoolyear enede but as this new schoolyear began everythign just piles up like that, you dont even realize it and its small things. its the little things that just push us off.. and you just have to hang in there because there will be a time when you will just get better, youll find something that just makes you get up every morning you just have to keep believing it will come. Hope things get better 😀
–frantic