Hey. This is my first blog. I have always helped others on this website, but I’m the one who is in need of help…Okay. I have been SI-ing on and off for about two years now…Ever since last year, it got really bad. I found myself doing it just because I felt it was the only way I could go on with my day! I even resorted to SI-ing at school ..I have had a boyfriend now for about six months. After meeting him, I started to decrease on doing “damage”. That was until I found out that he SI-ed. I always knew he did, but I never knew how much. I would SI for him so he didn’t have to.  I feel like that is what made him better, and me worse…He has not SI-ed in about four months, and I have…I have lied to him on countless occasions, telling him that I have…I feel so guilty doing that to him…Recently, he saw my injuries and almost broke up with me. I promised him that I would stop, and have been trying so hard to. He is so determined that he actually showed up at my house and took everything I could have used to harm myself. I don’t know whether or not I should be mad or happy with him. I understand that what I do is bad, but a part of me has learned to live with this…I really don’t know what to do and if I wanna change…My biggest fear is losing the person I love…He has helped me through so much, and it kills me that I can’t make him happy and proud of me…I always end up disappointing the people I care so much about…Sometimes I just sit and think, Is this thing really stronger than me, or am I just weak…