I feel nothing… Saturday and Sunday if I had a tool I would have used it, but now… I feel nothing.
I was talking to a friend who’s depressed. She had disappeared on me for a little while and I just thought I’d scared her off (something I seem to do a lot) but she was online the other night! So I hadn’t scared her off! She’d been in the hospital.
Now I’m in this very numb state.
I can’t feel anything. I’m just trying to figure out if I’m crazy…
My family is moving in one week and six days from today, the 15th. And I’m thinking of doing things that I fought so hard to stop doing?! Do I really want to be in the darkness of SI again? Is this really what I want?
One year today. It’s been one year today since my family found out about my sickness. Happy Anniversary! Woo…
You are not crazy. You would be surprised how many people feel the same way. But going back isn’t worth it, and it will feel worse than it did before. (Been there, done that.) Hold on tight.
~kai
i know what you mean about the numbness. its really hard. thats what caused me to start SI in the first place. being numb is really hard, but its part of the depression and eventually it will go away. i don’t really know what to tell you, but one thing that helps me is remembering that if i survive this, i will be a stronger, more stable, happier person, because i stood strong. so just hold on. e-mail me if you wanna talk 🙂 i’m proeliumcontravita@gmail.com