i wish that i had internet at home. i think coming to this website would be very theraputic to me. especially in trying to find a way to self-soothe and de-stress other than si. ive been able to abstain because of where i am this weekend. which is a good thing. im just afraid sometimes. trust is a VERY big issue for me and i would want nothing more than to open up to my therapist. i just fear i will and then she leave and ill have to start all over with someone else. i love to write and journal so if there is something really bothering me i write it down for her to read. i just dont want to use that as a crutch all the time. i just want to sit down and let it all out. for some reason i find it so difficult and it really shouldnt be that way. idk. at any rate…im just glad to have this support for the weekend. not so sure what to do for the rest of the week.