so I’m constantly in trouble at school. I was told that if I interrupt class one more time I will be expelled. I’ve been expelled from two other schools. Since 2nd grade, I’ve gotten detention almost everyday. I always have to dictate verses (it’s a Christian academy). I’m always in the dean’s office and had punishments. I’m constantly in trouble. But it’s not like I’m trying to be bad. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I always turn in my assignments, I’m A/B honor, but I still get in trouble. I’m not like most kids, meaning I learn differently. I have add, mild autism, and I’m kinesthetic. So I can’t take sitting for 55 minute classes without talking or moving or writing. It’s just way too boring for me. I’m the class clown. I don’t try to be like that, its just who I am; I can’t keep myself from blurting something sarcastic out.
I get into a lot of physical fights at school too.It just doesn’t hurt me that much; I have a very high tolerance for pain and a very low tolerance for humans.
I think part of the problem is that I have turned atheist and I’m living in a Christian world. So, to me, its all fake, I can point out all the stupid things that everyone says. It sounds so cheap that I can’t help but try to argue my point. I get in a lot of trouble for denying the bible. I don’t believe in that anymore and I don’t see any reason to pretend that I do. When we write reports about heaven, god, the bible, Jesus, whatever; I write what I believe. And that gets me in trouble. They tell me that I can’t doubt god, that I can’t ask questions. But if I can’t, how can I understand? I’ve had nuns label me in all kinds of negative ways.
I get in soooo much trouble at school everyday, but when I get home. No one cares. I mean, my mom screams at me, but that doesn’t have much to do with school and it has no effect on me. Except making me more depressed.
When I’m in trouble, everyone notices me, they normally don’t. It’s like a thrill. I always want to get into more trouble than I did last time. I don’t even have to try to think about it, it just comes naturally. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing, until I’ve done it. I don’t think before I act.
I can’t get expelled again or I’m going to military school, and I can’t do that. I’ve gone through too much now to go to a new school. I only have 2 more years of high school then I’m outta here, but I can’t just leave now. I’m too depressed and I think that if I had to go through that. I can’t handle any more stress.