Hi everyone…In case you are reading this, you really don’t have too, I have a feeling this will be unnecessarily long and most likely tediously boring.

Well, this weekend wasn’t such a good one for me. My parents own a condo up north and we go up there practically every weekend. It’s fun, we boat and go tubing, and there are really no other kids my age, just a lot of little 9 and 10 year olds, but surprisingly, I don’t mind hanging around with them. Or the adults. Everyone up there is really friendly and we feel like an extended family. Like all the little kids feel like my own siblings, and all the parents feel like those fun aunts and uncles. It’s nice.

So while we were up there one of the mom’s came over and asked my mom if she wanted to take everyone up to Great America next weekend because another one of the adults up there could get tickets (from her job). My mom was happy to go and then they started  talking about vacationing somewhere else like in Florida for like four or five days and taking all the kids with (just the moms and the kids). My mom — and me — thought it was a great idea. It would be a lot of fun, so when my asked my dad when we should plan on going, he started screaming and saying “You’re not taking the kids out of school!!” It would only be for two days. My mom was going to go in November when we had a three day week and I’d only miss those two of those days!! But he was having a huge fit about it and started shouting and yelling and throwing stuff.

I sat silently through it all, trying not to watch my parents fight right in front of me. When they took a timeout in the fight, I grabbed my iPod and took a walk out on a country road. I was running and crying and just wanting to escape. I swear I thought about running away the whole time. Some girl in my art class did just recently. I hate watching my parents fight, especially over things about me. So when I got back from my walk my mom made me go and talk to my dad. I didn’t want to talk. To him. Everytime we talk it is something about how I have to do more things and get friends. I’m tired of hearing that. I know I should have friends, but it is hard for me.

I told him that too. I just said, “I can’t talk to you, dad. Everytime we try and talk it ends up in a fight.” So I got up and left. He’s been mad lately too.

He’s a hypocrite. I don’t care that he’s my father, or an adult. Adults and parents are still people despite the title, they make mistakes, they can do wrong. And he did. Just about two months ago I clearly remember him saying, “I’d rather move out then go to therapy.” And now he’s denying he ever said that.

I’m not sure what to do. There are endless battles, and one person can really only take on one at a time. SIing has not stopped nor even reached a negotiating part. I’m just not sure of anything anymore…