Just an update. I was having really bad urges today, they are unbearable, that’s all i think about almost everyday and all day.

I was in the car today with my parents, and my sister i was just thinking about fighting the urge not to SI, and my mom mumbles miserable kid. So i said what did you say mom and she just denied saying it. I felt so horrible after that.

I was so focused on SI’ing when I got home but i went to lacrosse practice and wrote in my journal, I should be okay for tonight.