So its a long and complicated story…basically my husband found an old girlfriend online and now he wants to be with her. To me this was all out of the blue, I thought everything in our relationship was great. We were happy and comfortable around eachother(we’d been together for 6years) and then all of a sudden -BAM- ‘i’m in love with her’…WTH?! They havent even seen eachother in 10 years and she just up and left her husband and kids to be with MY husband. We used to be so close to God and I still am but he has fallen away and he knows he is doing wrong but he is being stubborn and wants to follow his own ways and not God’s. Now he talks about going on some kind of ‘fighter’s journey’ and he has to do it alone. I dont know, I dont even care about reasons anymore but everytime I start to think about these things and about how Ive lost that comfortable life and my husband, whom I still love deeply I get that old urge(i used to injure myself when i was with my ex). My husband knows these urges and he just says he’ll call the hospital to come get me if I do it. When I hear him say that he loves her and wants to be with her then thats the moment i want to injure the most. I dont want these urges anymore and I just want this all to be over.  I have my mom for support and a great church family but i need people who know what I’m talking about with these ‘urges’…ugh.