So its a long and complicated story…basically my husband found an old girlfriend online and now he wants to be with her. To me this was all out of the blue, I thought everything in our relationship was great. We were happy and comfortable around eachother(we’d been together for 6years) and then all of a sudden -BAM- ‘i’m in love with her’…WTH?! They havent even seen eachother in 10 years and she just up and left her husband and kids to be with MY husband. We used to be so close to God and I still am but he has fallen away and he knows he is doing wrong but he is being stubborn and wants to follow his own ways and not God’s. Now he talks about going on some kind of ‘fighter’s journey’ and he has to do it alone. I dont know, I dont even care about reasons anymore but everytime I start to think about these things and about how Ive lost that comfortable life and my husband, whom I still love deeply I get that old urge(i used to injure myself when i was with my ex). My husband knows these urges and he just says he’ll call the hospital to come get me if I do it. When I hear him say that he loves her and wants to be with her then thats the moment i want to injure the most. I dont want these urges anymore and I just want this all to be over. I have my mom for support and a great church family but i need people who know what I’m talking about with these ‘urges’…ugh.
Thanks.
I’m so sorry about what’s going on with your husband. I can’t imagine the pain it must be causing you. Years ago, I spiraled down with self-injury and eating disorders when a boyfriend I loved dearly told me he met a woman he knew 2 weeks. He said “I’ve know her for 2 weeks but it feels like I’ve know her forever. I think I’m going to marry her.” And he did. And after years of heartache, I found my husband. Today, I know that the urge to injure doesn’t mean I have to act on it. It’s just a sign of something else bothering me. And I totally understand why you want to to hurt yourself. Remember to stay SAFE and use alternatives. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
hey there…i am def sorry for what is going on with your family life. I have never been married but know that it is a hard road sometimes. I think woman vs men have a stronger tendancy to want to make other people happy and consume themselves so much in that role they forget themselves. I think that your husband is searching something in his life he has to come to terms with , but sadly will change your life and others in the process. I think that SI for any of us is def no answer, but life is a mystery and whose to say we are the ones that ended up doing what we do. i’m still tyring to figure that one out, but know your not alone. ultimately your strength will supercede the chaos and the fact your reaching out and communicating is a huge key to changing life. just your story helps me understand myself in a small way. know that there are people that do care and understand what your going through.. keep your head up