ok, so I haven’t been able to tell my parents, friends, anyone about the fact that i SI. I use whatever tool I can. The reason i started was because of this guy, let’s call him Travis. Well I have been in love with Travis for going on 2 years now. I’ve told him how I felt, but that was a long time ago, back then he said he returned the feelings but never made effort to ask me out or move forward with that. Last year he got a gf, one of the most controlling people he could choose. He didn’t like her and she didn’t like him, it was a complicated relationship, she wanted a bf so badly she didn’t care who it was and Travis managed to be the first to show up. She made him feel guilty about not paying enough attention to her and so he started acting differently. He never talked to me, or his other friends, and we all noticed and expressed our worries to him but he just denied any claims of different behavior and went back to normal for a while. I was so upset to think i had lost such a good friend and I continued on falling hard for him.
Once they broke up i was so happy, but he didn’t show any hint of liking me. I had already had enough stress from my my softball team ( some of the girls had made it clear they hated me, by talking about me and critizing my every move) and my parents ( nothing i do is good enough, i’m not skinny enough, smart enough , perfect enough) so i took the easy way, i injure myself enough to feel the pain. After i had finished i felt better, and i know thats not good. I need help on other ways to express my feelings considering no one wants to listen. If there is anyone who has a way to help, please help me.