It was my one month yesterday. I ended up injuring last night, becasue of the things someone else decided to say to me. I knew I had control over it, but I did it anyway. I feel like I wish I could have stopped myself, and at certain points, I actually could have stopped myself. I made such the wrong decision, I was really just hotheaded and not listening to my own thoughts. I have no thoughts right now, and I didn’t last night. I feel so panicked, like it won’t go away, but my therapist and I talked this morning. It’s just a minor setback, and I’m going to forgive myself–though right now I find this all such a hard thing to do. It was so easy to fall off the bandwagon, and I was doing so well…but now I’m fully off and I feel like I have control of nothing…not even my own mind.
I know how hard it is to make it that long and then mess up. it sucks. I went a month and 15 days and relapsed. All you can do is start over. Eventually you will stop. Remember that youre in controll and you can do this 🙂
You’re right. I can do this. It sucks, but it’s a part of everything. You have to learn. I have to pick myself back up and live with what I did, and that’s just another step in all of this. I can be hopeful. I can get through it. I will be okay.
remember… one step at a time 🙂
you’ll get there, i believe in you…
email me at emo_chick44608@yahoo.com
i understand too, i stopped for almost 4 months but i just caved in tonight. i’m so mad at myself for giving in so easy. but just remember you’re not alone :). next time post something before you give in, because maybe just venting will make you feel better.