yesterday morning i SI. i was so happy and relieved that i finally got to after three months of being clean. but i feel devistated and dissapointed in myself. later yesterday i had marching band camp, and from 3-5 we went outside to march, my leg was killing me and i almost passed out. then we had dinner from 5-6 and i sat alone with my boyfriend. i started crying when we sat down and he was all omg whats wrong?? so i stupidly told him and he wanted to see it so i showed him. and he started crying!!!!! i couldnt believe it. ='( so i feel a million times worse because i know hurting me hurts him too. but i never ever want to hurt him. but all i want to do is hurt me. i dont know what to do.
i have marching band today and i dont think im going to make it. my boyfriends mom volenteers to give out water and stuff, and she knows i SI, his older brother is two grades older and is my section leader, i dont think he knows but i dont want him to find out. and if today i have to sit out for a minuet so i dont pass out, i really really dont want him mom to found out i SI again…what if she makes my boyfriend break up with me? he means everything to me. and i mean everything. weve been together for a year and three months and hes the only reason im alive today. he and his family is my family too. i dont really have one of my own. im just really scarred…and dissapointed…and ughh i dont even know what i am anymore! idk….
That sounds a lot like me and my boyfriend. When he found out he cried too. Hes my whole world and if my parents or his parents find out that I slipped up and SI they will probably make us break up. Hes the reason im still here typing these words. If we break up because of this idk what ill do. Good Luck to you 🙂
I really don’t think she’d make your boyfriend break up with. Please hun, if you have to sit out for a little bit please do. If you need anyone to talk to email me at emo_chick44608@yahoo.com. 🙂