i was abused everynight for the first 8 years of my life. physically and emotionally. by my dad. i said something about it in a comment to someone elses post and someone commented back about how its not my fault. and my friends tell me that all the time, so does my therapist. but it is…its always been my fault because i deserve it. every night of it.

and everynight i have a nightmare/memory of what use to happen. and i wake up screaming every single night. im afriad to go to sleep. i finally crash at 3am and have to wake up at 5am. for pretty much my whole life. i think this is why i SI. but i dont know. but i did deserve it.