i was abused everynight for the first 8 years of my life. physically and emotionally. by my dad. i said something about it in a comment to someone elses post and someone commented back about how its not my fault. and my friends tell me that all the time, so does my therapist. but it is…its always been my fault because i deserve it. every night of it.
and everynight i have a nightmare/memory of what use to happen. and i wake up screaming every single night. im afriad to go to sleep. i finally crash at 3am and have to wake up at 5am. for pretty much my whole life. i think this is why i SI. but i dont know. but i did deserve it.
I do the same thing! I used to have nightmares four nights a week about my father hurting or even trying to kidnap me or kill me. It was the wierdest thing…but abuse, seriously, is never your fault, no matter how much you may or may not believe it. We do nothing to deserve it…our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally and care about us, and if they don’t, there is something wrong with their way of thinking, in my opinion. We are all loved, and we do not deserve to be abused and NO ONE deserves to abuse themselves. I too was abused by my father…emotionally, and my siblings physically. He knew about my SI and he still didn’t stop. He put me in the hospital (he caused a nervous breakdown) and he didn’t stop. But I’m stronger now, and I know that what he did can’t break me, because I survived it. And you can, too. You can.
<333333rescue
im so sorry you had to experience tht. i know we are all here for you.
I thought for most of my life that I deserved the abuse, but I know now, I was wrong. No child ever deserves to be abuse in any way! I will pray for you to find the truth. It’s the only way to survive abuse like that. I know, I’ve had tons of people abuse me in every way. (All my relatives!) Take care of you!!!!!!
Hun… you do NOT deserve the abuse!!! If you need anyone to talk to email me at emo_chick44608@yahoo.com. 🙂