I went to SAFE in the summer of 2008 and stayed self-injury free for ten months after. I injured myself once around the ten month mark, and then managed to stop again for a couple of months. But I started to have another emotional breakdown and had to go on medical leave towards the end of the spring semester and within a few weeks of leaving school started to hurt myself again. The main reason was that I felt like I didn’t have anything to prove anymore. I was away from my friends and away from school, angry at counseling services for what I perceived as a lack of trust, care, or regard for situations outside of what protocol dictated.
The thing is, it is very difficult for me to hide anything from my friends, so eventually a couple of them knew that I had relapsed. I then started dating a guy in my group of friends with a photographic memory and strong people reading skills, which means that I can’t hide anything from him, either. I started to remember how much self-injury hurts other people and decided that if I could stop before without anything bad coming from it, then I could stop again now.
So here I am, back in recovery. I was wondering if any other alumni can relate. Did anyone else relapse after SAFE? If so, did you come back from the relapse? How did you do stay motivated the second time around?