I know what they say about ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt Me.’ but whoever said that was wrong, way wrong. Its words that hurt and the other that make us feel better. Well, for me anyway.
Tonight I fell and hurt myself. To me it didn’t hurt that bad, but of course I pretended that it hurt a lot. When I was sitting on the couch one of my brothers came in. he laughed and said ‘what are you? An emo injurer?” I kept myself calm and asked what he meant by that, he gave his rude explanation. I threw a book at him and told him to shut up. He said “jk, dude, chill” I told him that it wasn’t funny but by that time my whole family had joined in the jokes about people who SI.
It hurt really bad to know that my whole family could be that lighthearted about such a big matter. And that they didn’t see any problems with sitting there talking about it like it was nothing. With 2 people who SI in their midst. No one in my family knows that I SI, and I don’t want them to. Its jokes like the ones that they made tonight that make me want to injure more and never tell anyone.
People make jokes about SI all the time. A year ago I wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with it, but now it hurts me to hear them. People at school tease about it all the time, its me and other people who SI who just sit there and hold back the tears, or go to the bathroom and hurt ourselves.
At work, the other day, I was leaning on the counter because there were no customers (because most people don’t buy pizza at 9 am). I was working with this guy that I don’t really know very well (I’m new). Leaning on the counters had left marks on my arms. I didn’t notice them; he asked “a little obsessed with injuring yourself?” I was panicking, but he was laughing. I didn’t know about the marks from the counter. He pointed to me, “didn’t take you as the emo type,” he was still just joking. The problem was that his jokes weren’t funny. They were hurtful and if he had any idea what those few harsh words meant, he never would have said them. Hopefully, if he knew that what he said would cause me to SI, he wouldn’t have said it.
People need to think before they say something. If it’s going to possibly offend anyone in any way, they shouldn’t say it. Like drake said, I’m not the ‘emo type.’ That doesn’t mean that I don’t hurt myself. Even if you don’t think that someone is “that type,” don’t say anything. Maybe it’s not them; maybe it’s a friend or a family member. There’s just no way of knowing. And it’s not just with SI, its everything. If something could hurt someone, don’t say it.
Just wanted to vent and let people know how much those jokes hurt.