I’m really angry right now and don’t know what to do except SI or result to my eating disorder(Overeating). No one is listening to me and the worse thing is that two of the people or my therapist and psychiatrist I feel they can’t see past my disease. 1st I’ve explained that for the past 9 months I’ve been on two or three different over the counter medications to try and lose this weight I’ve gain because I consider myself right now to be FAT & UGLY. the point that they don’t understand is that I collect social Security Disablity unlike everyone else that I know who has a job and could afford going to the store and getting food that is healthy. I tried to explain to my psychiatrist that junk food is the only thing I could afford because it only cost about .50 cents to maybe a $1.50.
I also realize that they don’t have to rely on eating out of cans (that is all the food pantries in New York give out) or go to soup kitchens. I’m frustrated and no one is hearing me I would much rather eat myself to death or Si then be an embarassment to all who know me. I know there are other options, but I really feel less than zero compare to everyone else I know and feel like life has no future for me. I can’t even afford to by new clothes or anything like that for myself and it’s been at least 10 years that I’ve done that. That’s another area that I feel demeaning in.
I’m sorry for venting all this stuff, but I feel as if everyone is deaf and could care less about anyone but themselves.