Im so confused. Im on vacation right now, and I met this guy. Hes really nice and kind, and he said he likes me alot, but its like, I look at him and I want to cry. Every time hes around, I think of my ex. Its been three months, shouldnt I be over him by now!? I really do like this guy, but… I feel like if I dont really want to be with him, deep down, then I just shouldnt. But I dont want to hurt him, and I dont want to get hurt.
And another thing, we (Me and him and our famalies) were swiming at this river, and the swim suite I was wearing was just barly covering my injuries. I stood up on a rock, and he was swimind next to me, about eye-level with where the scars are and I think he saw some of them. When I looked over, he was looking towards me, but turned away really fast with this wierd expression. Since then, ive been really quiet. So now, not only does being around him remind me of my ex, whom im pretty sure I still love, but I also get paraniod and scared, which brings up a lot of other thoughts and I want to SI. I just want this vacation to be over. As nice as he is, all I want right now is to not see this guy ever again. He leaves tommorow, and Im really happy, but that makes me feel bad. Now Im just plain avoiding him. I dont know how to feel or what to do. Im mad at myself too, for letting a guy make me feel like this after not knowing him for very long.  I should have known this was a bad idea or see nthis coming or something! Sorry, im just venting right now, though nobody probably cares. Just needed to talk.