how you can feel like at one point in your life things are going along great, perfect almost, and then just a few months later you honestly want to die. i feel like i have no one that can understand me. my bestfriend and i used to get along great, and then all of a sudden things just stopped clicking. lately shes been bashing on me pretty hard, insulting me every chance she gets. i dont know what to do. i used to love being her friend, but lately everytime we hang out, when she leaves i feel relieved that shes gone and hurt about all the mean things that she said.
its like everytime i get close to someone, something has to go and ruin it. i feel like i wont ever have anyone that can understand me. most of all, im just afraid of being along. i need something to fill up the emptiness inside of me. its like im walking around, either over flowing with emotion, or completely numb like im not real.
i can never be content. all i want is for peace. but i have no idea how to achieve that. SI is the only thing that has been consistant in my life, the friend that never wallked out on me. ive always been able to depend on it, and im terrified to let it go. more than anything, im afraid to stop covering up my problems, look beneath my scars, and find out who i really am.
Personally I do understand everything your saying.I think sometimes we almost expect the let down as soon as something good comes along.We know that its gonna end and we’ll be left lonely and lost.It doesnt make sense how things seem so right,then just as fast fall to pieces.To say life is unfair is an understatement.Im going through similar things with my best friend,we used to be family but now I slowly feel us slipping apart.It’s something thats hard to except is happening,but a true friend will love you as you.And everything you bring along with you,a real friend doesnt put you down,they build you up.And you should reanalyze that friendship;even if it means losing it.You deserve a friend who will listen,even if they dont quite know what to say.I know the fear of being alone all to well,but dont let it get too you.Because your never alone;EVER.Thats why were here to support and give hope to one another.When you feel like you have nothing,hope is something that never dies.I try to be strong myself but i cant remember that last time i had a genuine smile;not forced and fake;but i try in hopes that one day something will come along and make this smile real.So should you 🙂 you just gotta take it day by day.baby steps.I think we hide behind our SI because we dont wanna face who we really are;we fear we wont be able to handle it;or that things will get worse.I think its good and bad.We need to open these things,but also be cautious about how we deal with it.
good luck;
&& if you wanna talk email me.
misswhitneyshay18@yahoo.com
-Whitney
wow as i read this you totally took the words out of my mouth. Your problems with your best friend are EXCACTLY the same as the ones i had with mine!
Some months i feel AMAZING and like ‘y did i EVER SI??” then other months im like “wow life sucks im done with everyone and everything.” I’m only 15 but have been through ALOT of crud already but i found something that was SOOO much better then SI that ALwAYS makes me feel better. I found Jesus Christ. I don’t know if you r a believer, but believe me when i say that He is the ONLY reason i am here today, He has changed my life SOO greatly i owe everything to Him. Knowing He has GREAT plans for my life is so encouraging and can’t wait to see what He has planned for me and you both!! Hun ive been through alot too and know how it feels to be alone and feeling neglected. If you ever need someone to vent to, im here and will happily listen and pray with you. You are in my prayers =) email me at salli123rox@yahoo.com if u want to. God bless