I’ve tried covering up my pain with a smile and flirting. With makeup and hairspray. I’m the girl you don’t suspect at first sight.
I’m the kind, that if something would happen, only those closest to me would be able to look back and see the hints. No one else would be able to.
I lasted three months, and then did SI because of stress. Nothing NEARLY as bad as I’ve ever done. I don’t really WANT to do anything right now. But..I don’t want to be stuck here.
If I knew for a fact what comes after this life, I might give myself some peace. But, I know that that is not for me to decide. And I couldn’t hurt my friends and family like that. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to move on.
So…for now, I am going to stay strong, and find something to get me through the days.
hi. i don’t wanna be nosy, but it sounds to me like you’re looking for hope and faith. i don’t know what your religion is or if you even have one, but i personally find strength in God. I have found that many times i don’t know where to turn, i just ask him for strength and He somehow gets me through the day. He gives me faith that everything will be okay. i hope you can find that somehow…is there a place that you like to go and just be alone? maybe you can go there and just talk with God (whether internally or outloud) it always helps me.
hope this helps.
e-mail me if you want to ever talk or anything…sorry if that was too preachy. i just wanted to pass on some hope to you if i could.
loverlylaurie@yahoo.com
<3
L