Um, this is like my first time writing one of these so….. 

My girlfriend and I just had a fight. It sucked. And I cant stop thinking about injuring myself
It started about how I needed to get help, and I said that I didnt need it, she disagreed. And she said stuff about me not letting her help, she doesnt see why I love her, because shes such a mental case. It wont stop, we do this all the time and it hurts me. I think she knows that it hurts me . I love her so much, and when she saids all that stuff to me, that she hates her life  it makes me want to SI, or when shes hurt, its too much for me and I need releif, something, so I injure. But shes not the only reason.

I guess I’m no better, I say I hate my life too and I know it hurts her, I try to stop but it just comes out because thats how I feel.

I cant help but think I’m a horrible girlfriend because I say those things, I say she doesnt care about me and she doesnt love me. I’m horrible. I want to SI to badly. I promised her I wouldnt.

And when I said that I would try not to. she said If she finds out shes going to do it too.  and I say ” Is that a threat?”  and she saids “Thats not a threat, its a promise”

And it hurt, thats not what a loved one saids to another loved one right? Does she love me? I dont think so most of the time. I wonder if she understands me. I love her and I dont want to leave her. I want to save this relationship, but I need her help to do it and I dont think I’m going to get her help unless I talk to her. But I’m afraid to talk to her because she’ll go into stuff like she hates her life and shes going to SI or something like that 

I cant escape this.

Help me  I want to SI so badly