I’ve never done this sort of thing before. I’ve never really been a “blogger”, and I am certainly not open about my “bad thoughts.” That’s what I’ve called them ever since I was 13. It’s too embarrassing to use the words “self-injury” or “suicidal thoughts”. I can’t even use those words when addressing myself.
I was diagnosed with OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression at age 10. I had my first and only attempt at 14, and started to injure at 16. I am 20 now. My last self injury was almost 4 months ago.
I think about it daily though. For a couple of weeks now. The thoughts grow more frequent all the time. Lately, they have developed into something worse….Not just thoughts of injuring, but suicidal thoughts as well.
Everything is too much. I don’t know how to deal. All work, and no money. Family issues. The usual…it all seems exponential….HELP!