Hi, I am new here and looking for help. My 14 yr old daughter injures. This kills me inside to know that she is in such emotional turmoil. I just do not know what to do as this is new to me. I need to help her and don’t know how. This breaks my heart I am suppose to be her protecter. She gets teased horribly at school where there is suppose to be a zero bullying policy. Teachers are our forefront for this and they do nothing. I need some knowledge here so I can help her. I will gladly take any suggestions to heart, anything to help her get through this. I am so scared of losing her. I hate that she feels so bad inside.
hi. my name is katey. i am a 16 year old girl that self injures.
my parents recently found out about my self injury and they are very willing to help me in anyway they can.
i am sure you feel the same way.
first though, before you can really help her, she has to be willing to get help.
for so long i was not ready or willing to get help to stop my self injury.
i suggest you try talking with her, ask her if she knows why she injures and if so if she can explain it to you.
i personally am not comfertable talking to my parents about my self injury or scars or any of it. i have even lied to them when they ask if im wearing long sleves cause i SI’ed [SI stands for self injure].
if she is ready to get help to stop SI-ing then you could try to find a therapist that deals with self injury.
the day my mom found out about my SI, i told her that i want to see a therapist. a few weeks later nothing had changed and she asked me if i still wanted to see a therapist [that just pissed me off]. i told her in as calm of voice as i could handle that, yes i still wanted to see a therapist.
this is starting to get pretty long, so if you want to talk some more, you can email me at kateykasowski@yahoo.com
hope this helped some.
<3 katey
I can relate, I was bullied for a long time and thus started si. My mother refused to change my school, I think that if your child is up to it, changing her school may be a good option. As far as the si goes, it is a very private thing and it’s often embarassing to talk about. Try and get her professional help as she may not be willing to talk to you.
Hello,
I’m a parent too and still episodically deal with the si problem that started when I was 13. It sounds like you’re doing a great job of trying to get involved and be supportive. My own parents just tuned the problem out. I’ll echo the others and say professional help is really in order and professional help for you too I’d imagine. One of my biggest fears is of my own son experimenting with SI- he’s getting close to the age where he might and coping… well, I would need lots and lots of support. Your daughter may not be ready to talk to you directly. I know that would be hard. In the meantime the book Bodily Harm does a great job of explaining what may be going on with her. I recommend reading it.
I’m “rescue”, I’m a teenager recovering from self-injury. I’ve been injuring since I was twelve. I’m considered a veteran at these things…I can help you. I used to tell my friends how to deal with me, how to treat me, how to be more compassionate about it. Trust me, it’s hard, I know. I used to be terrified of my mom finding out, but we’ve been through it. I’ve gotten caught by my school three times, all of which they notified her. My mom hates talking about it, so we really try not to. The best thing you can do for her is just be really open. She may try and hide things from you right now, but you have to remain calm. My mom threatened to search my room when she found out, and that just made both of us freak out even more. The more you jump on her back, the more likely she is to SI, and the more likely she is to become secretive. Let her open up to you, and let yourself be open to her. Tell her that you want to get her help, and make her want it. Tell her it will be better off if she did. You have to get her to a therapist, if she doesn’t already have one. I’ve been seeing one for three years…it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. You also may want to have her avoid sharp things for a while, and come to a compromise. Tell her to hand all her tools over, and if you are gentle about it, she will either throw them away or give them to you. After you know she’s safe, stop buying her shaving equipment for a while. Let her use Nair instead, so she doesn’t have to even think about it. She may have cravings for a while…and she probably won’t let you know, because I remember my mom asking me to tell her whenever I wanted to injure, but I didn’t. Offer her other things… Suggest writing, reading, or going for a walk. Sometimes, you may want to go for a walk WITH her. If she gets in a bad mood of any shape or form, let her leave the house for a while. It’s best to leave the place where the impulse starts…it allows you to not think about it, and when you come back, you feel alot better. While she’s walking, check in on her a few times if she’s gone really long. Sometimes we just need time to ourselves, even if it’s only a couple of minutes.
I’m so glad I could help. If you need anything else, email me at ohc0nnahhh@aim.com.