It has been forever since I have been on here. For a long time I was doing so well with SI and than I relapsed into my eating disorder big time. I am now in treatment for ED but with facing all of that, its so hard and the urges to SI are back full force and I just don’t know how much longer I can fight them. Its been a little less than a year since I last SI’d and I really don’t want to, plus at Renfrew (the ED place) I’ll get contracted for Self Harm and I already got contracted once. I am just tired of fighting it. I need an outlet and feel completely helpless! I can’t juggle all of this!