Anyone that is going through what I am, I hope you will leave me a comment and some words of wisdom for those of you past or going through self injuring.
I am 44. I was diagnosed with bi-polar, severe depression, PTSD, and anxiety in my early 20’s. Although, I have fought depression for all these years since July of 2007 I have had 4 attempts, I have had 19 Electro-Convulsive Therapy (electric shock) treatments, and 12 hospitalizations. I had managed to work full-time until my last attempt in August of 2008. For the last 3 months I started injuring. When my family found out they had me committed to the hospital. Upone entry, they counted multiple injuries. I spent 17 days in the hospital and was just released last Monday. The urge to SI was great but I refrained from it…until today.
I have been on every medication available and it seems nothing helps with my depression and anxiety. I take an anti-anxiety medication, while it helps some, not enough.
I guess I just need some guidence. How do you control it, will the urge ever go away, is there help for someone like me? Any comments would be appreciated!
I think that talking to a professional would help you. I know it did with me. The reason I SI’d was that I didn’t really have an outlet for my emotions. I’m male and in my family it was if it wasn’t a big wound your not hurt. That is what my dad would always say to me. Then if I was crying he would tell me to be quiet or I’d get something to cry about. So at about the age of 16 I started injuring. Not bad at first, but it got alot worse. I also did alot of drugs to help me “feel better”. I’d SI to corelate with the drugs. Talking has helped more than anything. I believe that you should find a therapist that specializes in SI. The reason for the talking is to find out 1 why you SI. 2 to find the causes for those reasons. 3 lastly to find ways to fix those reasons(the root problems) that doesnt involve the “crutch” or “bandage” of SI. The only thing SI can do is a momentary fix. The real fix is finding out the real problems behind the SI and fixing them. Hope this helped. Good luck and God bless
There is always help, just finding the courage to get that help is hard. In my opinion SI can not be controled. I have tried many times to control it, bit in reality SI controls me. It controls every aspect of my life. I have been injuring over half my life, (I’m 25). I have been hospitalized more times than I can count and I’ve been on so much medication I feel like a lab rat. I don’t know if this helps at all, but I can relate to you. You can email me if you want myownfriend@cox.net
The urges don’t really leave, as far as I know. I always tell someone when they come along. I stay on the phone, no matter what the circumstance. I remember once it was so strong I hyperventilated and nearly passed out. But I managed to kick it and get it out of me, and I didn’t injure. I stayed on the phone. The person helped me breathe. Just call someone, and GET OUT of the room or the area where the urge first started. You can do this. You just need guidance, as you said.
I wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I slipped today…SI’d 5 times…all on my forearm (underneath). I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. I tried everything to try not to SI. I walked, I showered, I painted, I talked to family and friends…I called a local Comp Care for a support group. I guess all I can say is that I am a work in progress. I feel like such a failure for giving in to the temptation. Of course, I’m harder on myself that needed. A lot of things to change. Eventhough I gave in today, but I think I’m on the right track with support groups, this site, the wonderful support I’m getting from here, and seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow. Thanks again for the support and listening.