Things have been so hectic lately that I have had trouble just staying present in reality.
First, the good. I know that I am probably quite a bit older then some of you, (25) but I found out last week that I got accepted into graduate school!! 🙂 I can’t believe it, I have worked my butt off to get to where I am, but it I still have that train of thought that I am worthless and no good.
The bad: I live about 300 miles from any family members, and I have to go for a visit on Thursday. I am not really looking forward to the drive, I like driving, it just gets boreing driving alone. I am not sure what to expect, I know I get to visit with a few friends while I am there, but I still don’t like going because I don’t really get along well with my mother or my sister. (My dad is like my best friend, but he rarely spends time with me because he is always busy.)
The Ugly: I had another episode the other night that required medical attention. How I continue to avoid getting put in the psych ward is a mystery to me, but for whatever reason, I do. I feel bad about it. But two of the ERs and one of the walk-in clinics knows me by name and face.
Anyways, I just needed to get this all off my chest.
First off, congratulations on getting in to grad school. I am 22 and not far away from filling out apps, so I understand how exciting that is! Second, I am really sorry about you not getting along with your sister or mom, I just recently started talking to my parents about my life (not this part of course). My family lives about 10 min away and it is hard for me to go there, bc I always feel awkward just for the fact that I don’t live there like my brothers do. So on some level I understand where you are coming from. I am really sorry you had an episode and had to go to the hospital. It seems kind of irresponsible of the nurses and doctors to not try and get you help of some kind. If they know you that well there is no way they can think that you are having accidents. Maybe you should try to get help on your own (unless you don’t want it, no one can make you). I hope I am not coming off as rude or inconsiderate. I just wanted to say hey and let you know that you’re not the only twentysomething year old in here.