ok. so first I’ve been doing okay with my si i guess. i haven’t si’d in like 2 or 3 days [for me that’s pretty good].
but now i want to use substances. I’ve never used drugs before, and I’ve been told you don’t get addicted to some but that you get addicted to the way you feel.
i don’t know what to do. i have a friend that injures herself in that way so if i decide to try it then she’ll be there for me, but i really don’t want to get addicted.
I’ve told a few of my friends that i want to do this and, well, they got really pissed off. they are worried that I’ll get addicted to it, and they don’t want to see that happen. i don’t want that to happen either.
i just don’t know what i should do.
oh! and tomorrow [Monday July 20th] my mom is gonna find me a therapist. I’m kinda happy and excited about that. is it weird that I’m happy about that?
<3 Katey
Hmmm. Well first off I don’t think it is such a good idea to turn to a substance rather then SIing. Both are bad, but if you start using substances it is just going to be that much harder to stop SIing and then you have to deal with trying to quit using the substance too. I do know what that feeling of wanting something to cure the pain or make you numb feels like. But eventually I figured out that if you need a substance in order to make you happy or content, then something isn’t right there. So my advice would be just to try step by step to stop SIing. I know its extremely difficult but coming to this site shows that you do want help, that you do want to stop and that’s the first step. If you can, try to get rid of all your tools, if you simply can’t do that try calling a friend or someone you trust whenever you have the urge to SI. Talk through whatever it is that is making you want to SI. If you don’t think you can talk to anyone about it try writing, express your feelings somehow. You can even paint, just try to distract yourself until the urge is gone. As far as being excited about a therapist, its not a weird what so ever. In fact, it just shows how much you want help, and how excited you are to finally get it. I wish you the best. And I hope I sorta helped.
I’ve struggled with both SI and addictions to drugs and alcohol, and SI has been an addiction for me. From my personal experience, when I was drunk or messed up on drugs, I STILL Continued to SI. Switching from SI to drugs, isn’t an answer.
Its good that your are excited about your mothers finding you a counselor.
It sounds to me like you have some good friends who care about you when they get mad when you tell them something like that. You should feel lucky about having friends that care!!
DON’T use substances. They won’t help you at all. Drugs are just as addictive as SI’ing can be to a lot of us. They are dangerous too, and not a good option. Your friends are right in not supporting that decision.
A therapist will probably help, and that’s great you’re excited (because I’m supposed to go to one and I am not looking forward to it.) You sound like you’re really ready to take the steps to get better, and drugs won’t help that.
*emily
Substance abuse is MUCH harder to fix than self-injury. Please don’t do it. Therapy is the greatest thing in the entire world. I’ve been to one for three years and she’s like, my best friend. It works out so well, if you can be honest with them. I’ll pray for you. But trust me. Substance abuse is not the way to go, and you’ll hurt the ones who care about you if you do get into that. Don’t do it. You’re loved. In my prayers, I assure you.
<3always, rescue