ok. so first I’ve been doing okay with my si i guess. i haven’t si’d in like 2 or 3 days [for me that’s pretty good].

but now i want to use substances. I’ve never used drugs before, and I’ve been told you don’t get addicted to some but that you get addicted to the way you feel. 

i don’t know what to do. i have a friend that injures herself in that way so if i decide to try it then she’ll be there for me, but i really don’t want to get addicted.

I’ve told a few of my friends that i want to do this and, well, they got really pissed off. they are worried that I’ll get addicted to it, and they don’t want to see that happen. i don’t want that to happen either.

i just don’t know what i should do. 

oh! and tomorrow [Monday July 20th] my mom is gonna find me a therapist.  I’m kinda happy and excited about that.  is it weird that I’m happy about that?

<3 Katey