i’ve been so good for the longest time, my si has been to a minimum. the distractions were working, but not anymore.
and then i found out my supposed “best friends” have been doing stuff and diliberately leaving me out
and i’ve pretty much figured out that i don’t fit in anywhere.
so i just si’d again for the first real time since school let out. it was so good to be able to not worry about my scars showing, and now thats gone.
i just don’t know how to deal anymore.
i’ve been thinking a lot lately about killing myself, and i wish this would all stop.
i wish id stop being in pain every waking moment of everyday
the emotional pain i feel has been making me physically sick, and its starting to show, people are starting to notice.
theres like no one i can talk to anymore, cause everyone else has their own stuff to deal with,, i don’t want to burden them with mine.
i came so close to telling my campus minister, to asking her for help but i chickened out about three times.
i want this to end and to have more control over myself but i’m afraid that im slowly losing what little control i have. had.