Well, it been a while since I got on here, had to change my account since i got a new computer, and dont have access to my old password. Anyways, I broke I think a… 4 month clean streak a few nights ago, and Im not sure why. I was just angry at…everything. My mom and grandma were fighting and it was stressful, then I had to hear my mom ranting for about 2 hours saying how she dosnt get it and how angry she was and etc, same thing ive been hearing her say since i was five. It was the same speech she always gives after they fight, and I was tired so I closed my eyes then she started yelling because I dont get enough sleep or something, i dunno. Also, my friends all seem to thing Im Dr. Phil now, and all want my advice and help. Ive been doing a summer job all this week, and I feel like I could fall over and just sleep for hours and hours… It just got to me a little, and i guess I just couldn’t stop myself this time.
On an odd note, about mid year when I first started Siing, I saw this picture on the side of a building. It was a drawing/painting of a tool, in really great detail, saying ‘give up’ right above it. Everyday I saw that while i was trying to stay clean. So when I finally did give up and Si a few days ago, the morning after, me and my mom drove by the building as usual, and it had been painted completely white, and the picture was gone. Any thoughts on this? I thought it was freaky.
One final thing, I am currently listening to ‘The Way She Feels” by Between the Trees, and its very inspiring to me 🙂 OK thats all now,