Well, I decided that maybe it’s time for me to come back. My last entry was back in January, unfortunately I forgot my password for my old account and my old email no longer exists. I started SIing around sixth grade. At first it was just a way to escape all the arguing between me and my mom. One of my brothers was being sent to Iraq and the other one was headed to prison for twelve years. Everything seemed to be falling to pieces and I felt powerless. There was no way I was able to stop the things happening around me so I turned to SI. It was an attempt to gain some control over my life but now its taken over. I stopped blogging back in January because I thought it was over for me. I was having trouble in school, at home and with friends. I gave up hope. Things did end up getting somewhat better but not much. Around March I completely lost myself. I started falling into this ditch I had been digging for years. See, I sorta have a problem opening up to others and asking for help.  I was a wreck but no matter how much I wanted to pick myself up I was stuck. I knew I had fallen, but I didn’t know how to get back up. I eventually turned to a friend who was there for me night and day. I have gotten better but I still have those days where I can’t see myself living for another day. I still have those moments in which I burst into tears wishing that all the pain would go away. I still catch myself thinking about how much I have changed and hating this person I have become. And I still continue to SI. So I’ve come back because I still need help and I don’t know where else to turn. So please if you have any advice comment.
_Marina