Okay, I’m so screwed up!  I SI’d a few mins ago. I’m home alone so I figured I’d update a website I design for a non-profit group and e-mail people that need to be e-mailed…I did, but I sent the e-mail to a big group of people and didn’t BBC (blind carbon copy) it so I wouldn’t share the addresses with everyone…I’m so stupid!  Now I’m probably gonna have tons of people e-mailing me back griping…so I SI’d.

I have my first appt with a new T on  Thursday, but it’s going to get worse from now until then, I just know it is.  He sounds okay, but now I’m regretting calling him.  I don’t wanna tell him about this.  I told him I was having thoughts of SI, but now what do I say? “Sorry doc, it’s too late for me, and I don’t want to talk about it?” ugh!

I mean, I’m such a hipocrit, I just replied to someone’s post and I sounded so optimistic and gave advice.  I shouldn’t be giving advice.  I’m so screwed up!