this is my first post…i am 22 and only have one real friend…but i met her online on a SH website a few days ago and she lives in another state…
before this past sunday, i had never thought about SI so seriously, like i would actually do something…i woke up and felt so empty…i admitted myself (reluctantly) to a hospital in september b/c i was having a nervous breakdown…after seeing a girl there with scars, the thought to SI keeps popping in my head, a whole lot lately.
I have it all. Really great family, good school, but i feel like i’m always an outside observer of it all like i never fit in…i should be soooo greatful for everything i have…i have had a kidney transplant and i am a cancer survivor…so i should be so happy that i’m healthy right now, right?
i just don’t want something else wrong with me! it would just kill my mom, and i cant stand to see her cry like that again. she is the only thing that keeps this family going, and if i tell her i’m having thoughts of SI, it will all fall apart…AGAIN…and it would be my fault…AGAIN…what do i do?