After an awesome two months clean i had a total breakdown! I’ve been spending every spare moment locked up in my room hurting myself and I really hate my life right now.  I know I should get back up and move on in my recovery but its so hard to do when even the simplest things seem impossible. I’m just so exhausted of trying not to SI, and to deal with life, and to put on a smile for the rest of the world.  I’m tired of life.