Alright. So yesterday, on my birthday, something in my head just clicked. I no longer ever want to SI again. I used to think i needed to, but now, i dont even want to quite frankly. It was the best gift I could ever get: freedom.
But just a moment ago, I was talking with my friend. It was the one who had got me through every moment during those months where i SId, she was always ALWAYS there for me and is the most INCREDIBLE person i know. She used to SI too, and its been a bit over a year since she’s last done it. Until just now. She told me a few days ago she cracked. When she told me this, I started bawling. I couldn’t believe it. I felt so terrible, and I feel like I caused it somehow. Why is it when I get better, my friend gets worse!?! I HATE IT. I would not even hesitate to trade spots with her and take her place. I hate to see her suffer so much, and I wish I could make it all better. But I can’t. It’s the worst feeling, even worse than when I SI’d. Please, if everyone could pray for her, it would mean a lot to me. I love her so much, I don’t know what I would do without her. She doesn’t deserve this.