So, I have posted a while back when I was just beginning therapy and starting the process of recovery. I have since been in therapy for a while and started doing DBT. I find that the guilt and numbness I use to feel, and as a result would then SI, has subsided a bit. However, I feel as if it is being replaced by more real, and sometimes “physical” emotions. I get angry and I get sad. Instead of SI-ing, I cry or get angry. According to my therapist this is normal and comes with the process of recovery. Some days, though, I find it emotionally draining to deal with the sadness and anger. It is almost too much. I find myself wanting to go back to my old coping ways just because it seems easier, and sometimes I break down and do SI. At times it seems easier and better to not feel and to just go back to SI-ing. I am 26 and have been SI-ing since I was 13. It is hard to give up, even though I know it is the best thing. I guess I am just looking for some sort of knowledge that it will get easier. I know in my heart and mind letting go of SI, my one thing that I considered to be my only “comfort object”, is the best thing, but some days it just seems so difficult and I wonder if it is worth it.